How would you like clothing that would not only make you look, but also feel, like a million bucks? Microsoft—the original grey suit people—is thinking about doing something about that. The company recently applied for a patent for a shirt that can detect your “affective state” and if it’s a downer, send you feedback to perk you up or cool you off.
There is so much room for weirdness and fails in this (looking at the patent application photo), we don’t know where to start. There are soft circuit cells that pick up physical clues to the wearer’s feelings which have specific kinds of feelings (affective states) associated with them so the clothing knows when to warm you up, play some music or vibrate.
Basically, the shirt doesn’t really know how you feel. It only knows how some Microsoft tech people think you might be feeling given certain biometric data, such as temperature and heart rate. According to the patent application, “The wearable device implementations compliment users’ current strategies for coping with and managing their emotions.” We’re guessing that in most cases, you’ll be more accurate at identifying those emotions than your shirt, and probably have more faith in your current coping strategies.
A new brand of denim, now; that might be a thought. Microsoft could call it the Moody Blues.